The Madness of Love
by Lizziekat15
Summary: WARNING: as this story evolves there will be discussion of rape, drug and alcohol abuse, physical and emotional abuse. Nothing graphic. And eventually the zombie apocalypse will make it's appearance.
1. Chapter 1

This is just something that popped into my head today while swimming. Weird I know. I've already got a back story sketched out, but wanted to post this to see how it looks so far.

Chapter 1

As the sun rose, Merle made his decision. He called the ranch, knowing they were two hours behind and although it was very early he was sure Daryl was already up stomping around, or already out in the fields. It was April, he knew from what he'd been told that it was lambing season and the hands were out in the pastures nearly round the clock.

"Hello," a sleepy male voice answered the phone in the bunkhouse.

"Hey, I need ta speak ta Daryl Dixon. This is his brother calling from Georgia," Merle rasped. As much as he had drunk, he was stone cold sober due to the circumstances of the call.

"Aw, Merle. Ya know he won't talk to ya," the voice chided him. Merle frowned.

"Tell him it's important. Tell him it's bout Lucy," Merle snapped back. "I'll stay on the line, don't care how long it takes but get his ass on the phone," he snarled.

"Okay, okay, hold on and I'll go find him." And he heard the phone clunk down. He couldn't make out the noises muffled in the background, but after about five minutes the phone was picked up again.

"What the fuck do ya want Merle?" he heard Daryl snap. He sighed. At least Daryl had gotten on the phone.

"Got some bad news, baby brother," Merle said slowly. He wasn't sure how he was going to say this, hadn't really thought it out.

"She dead?" Daryl whispered without emotion.

"No. But Wade is," Merle answered back.

There was a long silence on the other end, and Merle started to wonder whether Daryl was still on the phone or not.

"What's that got to do with me?" Daryl snarled finally.

Merle rubbed his hand over his face. "She killed him Daryl. And she's gonna be locked up in the mental hospital. Again." Merle braced himself for the torrent of fury that would soon come through the line.

"What? What the fuck ya talkin' bout?" Daryl yelled, his Georgia drawl reasserting itself instantly. 'What do ya mean again? What the fuck is goin' on there?"

Merle heard his brother's breathing pick up and could just picture Daryl starting to pace now in fury.

"Long story, too long to go into now. Nough to say that things are shit here, and Lucy needs ya to come home and be with her through all this," Merle spoke as calmly as he could.

"Where she at now?' Daryl asked tersely.

"In the hospital. Got stabbed in the stomach, lost the baby," Merle mumbled. He heard the phone drop and Daryl yelling and cursing loudly.

The phone picked up again but it wasn't Daryl talking, it was the person who had first answered the phone. "What happened Merle?"

"Where's my brother at?" Merle yelled angrily.

"He's rushed off to pack, he said. Said he's gotta go home," the voice replied. Merle sighed in relief.

"Tell him to be careful coming home," Merle said and hung up.

That night Merle was startled to hear banging on his door. Opening it, he was shocked to see Daryl. Merle stood with his mouth hanging open, one of the few times he was speechless. Daryl brushed past Merle and stomped into the living room, throwing his duffel bag by the couch. Turning he stared angrily at Merle and they each took measure of the other.

Eight years of hard work outdoors in all weather had hardened Daryl. His face was all sharp angles, small lines in the corners of his eyes from the sun. His skin had a weathered look, which actually made him more handsome. Merle could see Daryl's shoulders had filled out, he'd gotten taller and had a lean, muscular look to him. He also had a confident air to him, self- possessed, that he'd never had before. He looked like a dangerous man to cross.

In turn, Daryl stared at Merle-he realized he now was slightly taller and broader built than Merle and for all that Merle looked fit and muscular Daryl believed he could beat Merle in a fight if it came to that. He realized Merle no longer intimidated him. He'd learned how to survive out on the ranch in ways he'd never had to here in the woods of Georgia. He wasn't afraid of anything anymore. No man would ever again raise a hand or their voice to him.

"What the fuck happened Merle? No bullshit, I want the whole story," Daryl muttered angrily, as he lit up a cigarette. Merle leaned his back against the door and studied Daryl closely. He realized as tightly wound as Daryl was, it would be best to give an abbreviated version and not mention everything that had happened.

"How the fuck did ya get here so fast?" Merle rasped, hoping to stall a bit.

Daryl snapped his head up and glared at Merle. "What's it matter? I'm here. Tell me what the fuck happened," and without realizing it with each word Daryl's voice had gotten lower and colder as he spoke. Merle's eyes widened. His brother had never spoken to him like this. He had always been polite and respectful to Merle unless they argued, and even then he had definitely been the submissive one.

Merle cleared his throat, aware that he actually felt a bit anxious around his brother. Daryl was unknown to him right now and that made him nervous. "Well, short story is Wade and Lucy ain't ever been happy. And he was apparently more crazy than any of us gave him credit for," at this Merle stopped, hearing Daryl growl impatiently. Merle spread his hands out placatingly and tried to smirk but failed in the face of Daryl's cold stare. "Um, well, guess Wade got Lucy pregnant and …well, she stabbed him to death. Then tried to kill herself," Merle blurted out. Daryl stood very still, gazing over Merle's head coldly. Merle noticed that Daryl was a lot more still than he'd previously been. No restless squirming or pacing.

"So why ya call me? She's got family, they can take care of her," he muttered, still staring off at nothing.

Merle felt a chill creep up his spine. He was beginning to think Daryl was as crazy as Wade had been. He was unnaturally still and that alone made Merle feel anxious.

"They took her to the hospital in a strait jacket. After they got it off they saw she'd been stabbed in the stomach. They had to knock her out to stop her screaming," Merle whispered, bracing himself for Daryl's fury. He was shocked when Daryl continued to stand as still as a statue, silent. "This ain't the first time she's had a breakdown brother. They're afraid she won't come back from this one," and his throat closed up when Daryl turned his eyes to him. The look of pure cold hatred in Daryl's eyes was something Merle had never thought he'd see on his brother's face directed at him.

"So, she's been in the nuthouse a few times now? And now she's killed Wade and tried to kill herself? And not one fucking person thought to get her away from that crazy son of a bitch? No one thought to help her at all?" Daryl's fists were clenched at his sides and he ground his teeth.

For the second time in the space of a few minutes Merle was rendered speechless. The very fact that Daryl had asked that meant to Merle that Daryl had forgotten what life was like here. Around here you didn't interfere, didn't question. You kept your head down and hoped no one noticed you.

Merle shrugged helplessly. "You've forgotten what it's like here brother," he began.

Daryl held his hand up. "Fuck no, not that shit. Don't care who the fuck her family is or anything else bout that. Somebody somewhere should've helped her. I've seen a lot and been a lot of places since I left here and I know now that this place is in some kind of time warp. Like everyone here still lives in the time of slaves and cotton and those that have money can do damn well whatever they please. If ya ain't born with money yer life is shit and won't ever be anything but shit. Ain't like that anywhere else. Just here, in this little spot of hell." Daryl snorted with disgust. Merle remained silent, watching his brother closely. "Where she at?" Daryl snapped.

"She's at the hospital. They got her sedated from the surgery and because…..she started screaming again when she woke up." Merle whispered.

"Why she screaming? She in pain?" Daryl asked angrily.

Merle sighed. "No. She's been screaming your name. She's been screaming Daryl ever since they found her kneeling over Wade's body."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Merle and Daryl slipped into the hospital through a door Merle knew was never locked so the employees could sneak out and smoke- ever since the hospital had instituted it's no smoking policy the employees had found ways around it. This was just one door he knew remained unlocked at night so the employees could get in and out without fuss or notice.

Merle motioned to Daryl to follow him and they slunk silently down various hallways and then up two flights of stairs. Peering out the doorway cautiously, Merle smiled and waved Daryl to follow him. The nurse at the desk was an old acquaintance of his and wouldn't report them for being on the floor at this hour. Merle waved a hello to her and she rolled her eyes and nodded back.

Merle led Daryl to a door where there was a sign announcing visitors were prohibited unless cleared by family. There was a guy sitting in a chair in some type of guard uniform and Merle smiled at him as well. Daryl glanced over at Merle and Merle shrugged. "Got contacts everywhere." Daryl shook his head in disgust-same old Merle.

They stopped in front of the door and Merle cleared his throat. "Pete, this here's my baby brother. He's here to see Lucy." Pete glanced at Daryl and then back at Merle, frowning.

"Hell Merle, ya know they'd have my hide if I let anyone in here but the family," the man began to whine and Merle glared at him.

"They wouldn't be too happy knowing you're stoned half the time you're supposed to be guarding anything of theirs," Merle snapped quietly, glancing around furtively. "Now shut it and let my brother in there. I'll stay out here ta keep ya company," Merle continued and waved Daryl in.

Daryl entered the room nervously, not having any idea what to expect. As he rounded the corner of the wall, he stopped, breath choked in his throat.

Lucy lay in the bed, appearing to be asleep. She had never been a big girl but it seemed to him as if she'd shrunk. She seemed to be skin and bones, all angles and hollows. He stepped closer and peered intently at her. He could see the hollows of her cheeks, dark circles under her eyes. Her hands, lying on her stomach, were nearly skeletal. He could faintly see from the way her hospital gown had shifted that her collar bones stood out sharply. She looked like someone who'd been starved half to death. Her hair was dull and dry and hanging in tangles around her.

He stared at her, feeling a pain in his chest from the rush of emotions he was experiencing. He hadn't thought he'd ever see her again, but had consoled himself the last eight years with the hope that she would have found some way to be happy in her marriage to Wade. He cursed himself as he had every day and every night those long years that he hadn't been smarter about their plan to run away together. That he hadn't been strong enough for the both of them to take her away from this shithole and her hateful and cruel family.

Lucy sighed and stirred and Daryl leaned over the bed rail, clutching the rail in a white knuckle grip to prevent himself from startling her with his touch.

As he gazed silently at her, Lucy's eyes opened and she stared at Daryl in confusion. Tears immediately welled up in her eyes and dropped to her cheeks rapidly. Her mouth opened, and he noticed how dry and chapped her lips were, signs of having been bitten often on them.

She opened her mouth to speak, but a hoarse rasping noise was all that came out. Daryl remembered what Merle had told him about her screaming and realized she'd screamed herself hoarse.

He shook his head slightly and smiled softly at her. "Don't gotta speak, Lucy. Rest yer throat," he said softly. Her eyes widened on hearing his voice. She turned her head to look about the room then turned her eyes back to him. She coughed and licked her lips.

"Am I dead?" she croaked in a whisper he could barely hear. His eyes widened at her question.

"No Lucy. Yer in the hospital. I'm here, got here tonight. Merle called me," he explained, not wanting to overwhelm her with too much information.

She nodded, uncomprehending of what he was telling her. She continued to gaze at him in disbelief and reached a shaking hand to her temple. "I really am crazy now," she rasped again.

Daryl shook his head, his throat tight with emotion. He reached a hand out and grasped her free hand firmly. "No, I'm real. Feel that?" She nodded uncertainly. "I'm really here. Ya ain't crazy."

Lucy lowered her hand to rest on Daryl's. She frowned slightly and a blush crept into her oh so pale features. She lowered her eyes and tried to pull her hands from Daryl's grasp. "I killed Wade," she whispered, almost as a question.

Daryl gripped her hands to keep her from pulling them from his grasp. "Don't care. Just know I'm glad yer alive and I'm here with ya," he whispered to her. Lucy's eyes flicked up in surprise to his, and she saw a tear slide slowly down his cheek. Daryl raised her hand to his lips and kissed her softly. Lucy's mouth fell open slightly in surprise. "Never should have left here without ya. Ain't leavin' ya here alone again," he whispered against her skin. Lucy rolled to her side, facing him, and winced at the pain in her abdomen. Daryl pulled a chair over toward the bed and after lowering the rail he sat down as close to her as he could get. He immediately clasped her cold thin hands in his big, rough, warm hands and rubbed his thumbs over them.

Lucy opened her mouth and Daryl shook his head. He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek. "Don't talk. Rest. I'll be here with ya when ya wake up. Ain't goin' nowhere," he whispered and he brushed a hand against her cheek. Lucy nodded and closed her eyes, but Daryl never felt her grip loosen its hold on his hands.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As Daryl watched Lucy sleep, his mind wandered back to how all of this had begun. The summer both he and Lucy were seventeen, and he was working on her father's farm because his drunken, no good pa had fucked up and landed in jail while working for Lucy's father. And so he had been given no choice but to work on the farm in whatever capacity they told him until his father was released. About a year give or take.

Lucy's father, Randolph, and his cronies ran the county Daryl and his family lived in-they were big in the local chapter of the Klan and had a tight hold on all gambling, liquor, drugs-you name it. Daryl's father Will had long been in Randolph's employ and Daryl knew there was a dark secret there hidden somewhere in the history of their collaboration but he had never wanted to risk asking his father or his brother about it. He just knew that something had happened that had put his father forever in Randolph Montgomery's debt and that both he and his brother Merle were expected to tow the line and do Randolph's bidding.

Daryl had tried to resist this, had fought with his brother repeatedly about this. He wanted to go away from Jeff Davis County and start a new life where no one knew him or his family. He was tired of being looked down on as trash, tired of living in fear of his father and the drunken beatings he'd endured since he was young. He had dropped out of high school the beginning of his sophomore year, too ashamed at how much time he had missed from all the times he'd stayed away after one of his father's beatings. He was smart, he knew he'd have done well in school if he hadn't had to miss so much time and if the teachers had worked with him instead of shrugging him off as just another ignorant piece of trash.

Daryl considered himself lucky when he had been hired at the local garage, not realizing his brother Merle had arranged for Daryl to work there. Merle felt responsible for Daryl's unhappiness-he had tried to school Daryl on the way life was here and that he should just accept it and get on with it. But Daryl hadn't listened or hadn't believed or something and it both frustrated Merle and hurt him to see his baby brother so unhappy. So he'd gotten Daryl the job at the garage-the Montgomery family owned it, so technically Daryl was working for them but at the same time it kept him out of the more dangerous jobs that Merle himself took.

That May, Will had gotten himself jailed for some infraction while in the line of working for Randolph and Daryl had been pulled from the garage and put to work out at the Montgomery farm. He had protested and one of Merle's running buddies had beaten Daryl badly enough to bruise his ribs and black his eye but not badly enough to keep him from reporting to work the next morning at the farm. On his arrival he was informed by one of the hands there that he would be staying in one of the cabins on the property and would be working on the farm equipment, vehicles and helping with the horses or anything else that needed attention. This would continue until his father was released from jail.

Daryl had been shown his cabin-a one room affair with a bed, bath and kitchenette –more like a motel room than a cabin. The bare necessities, but at least he wouldn't be sharing it with anyone and he wouldn't lie awake at night waiting to see if his pa was going to beat him or not.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

His very first day of work, he had been in the stables getting instructions on how to groom and feed the horses when Lucy walked in. Daryl had known Lucy all his life, they were the same age and had been in the same classrooms until he'd dropped out. He hadn't seen her very often in the last two years since then.

As he turned toward the sound of her voice, his mouth fell open a little and he stared. He had always thought she was a pretty girl-but two years had seen her change from a pretty girl to a beautiful young woman. The sun slanting in the doorway fell on her long auburn curls hanging loosely about her. She had gotten taller, but was still yet almost a head shorter than he. She had those long coltish legs still, and her figure was not as curvy as some girls her age but he saw no fault in her. He knew her parents had enrolled her in all the classes proper young Southern girls of moneyed families took-dance, ballet, piano lessons, riding lessons. The result was a young lady of grace and confidence.

Lucy looked toward Daryl and her eyes widened in surprise. Those eyes. Daryl had spent many a restless night thinking about those eyes. Cat eyes-jade green, just the slightest hint of a slant to them, fringed with thick black lashes. She smiled, and he felt his chest constrict. He had had many a daydream about that mouth as well, and what it would be like to kiss it.

"Hey Daryl," she'd exclaimed, seemingly happy to see him. Daryl had blushed furiously, and stuttered out something in reply, his eyes looking stubbornly at the floor in front of him.

Lucy crossed the barn floor to stand in front of Daryl and laid her hand on his arm eagerly. "I didn't know you were working here," she said happily.

Daryl kept his eyes on the floor, afraid to look up and be caught staring like an idiot at her. He nodded and the hand elbowed him sharply.

"Miss Montgomery talks to ya, ya best answer boy," the older hand snapped sharply at Daryl and he blushed even more.

Lucy tsked. "Silas, that's okay. I've known Daryl since we were babies. He doesn't have to be all formal and such with me. Why, we're friends from way back," she scolded.

Daryl glanced at Lucy quickly, sure she was making a fool of him. Friends? They'd never said two words to each other outside school, and he sure hadn't had much to do with her in school. She travelled in a different circle than he, she was far beyond his reach.

He saw to his relief and surprise that she was not teasing or trying to embarrass him. He frowned-what in the world would make her say such a thing if not to hurt or humiliate him? Lucy smiled at him and waved Silas off so that she and Daryl could have a moment alone. He felt his throat go dry and his breath cut off. He flinched slightly as Lucy came near him.

Lucy saw how Daryl was reacting and her eyes widened again. Lucy was a tender hearted girl, saw the good in everyone and tried never to judge anyone. She had had a crush on Daryl as long as she could remember-and a boy with more confidence would have realized this long ago. But Daryl had no self- esteem and so never realized Lucy's feelings for him. Lucy had at the same time instinctively hidden her feelings from everyone around her. She knew the place they lived in would not tolerate her being friends with him or anyone like him. They were trash-or so she'd been told repeatedly by her friends and family.

She had often wondered why this was so-sure his father drank, but so did quite a few of her friends' fathers, and sometimes their mothers as well. His mama had died years ago, but she had friends who had lost their father or mother at a young age. It couldn't be because the family was poor, because every Sunday she was told in church that God treated all his children equally and that it was a sin to look down on those less fortunate than you. She had gone with her mother and their friends to hand out food at the holidays to poor families in the county and had helped in the drives for blankets and clothes when families fell on hard times. But she couldn't remember anyone ever doing anything kind for Daryl or his family or speaking in any way about them other than to belittle and ridicule them. She didn't understand why this should be, and it had puzzled her often on nights she couldn't sleep.

"When did you start working here?" she asked quietly, unconsciously speaking to him as she would to one of her pets that had had a fright.

Daryl shifted restlessly under her gaze and began to bite his thumb. "Today's my first day," he mumbled, anxious now for her not to see his black eye from his beating last night.

Lucy watched him carefully, trying to decipher what had him so nervous. "That's nice. I haven't seen you in ever so long. I wondered what you'd been doing with yourself," she said cheerfully. Daryl glanced up and saw her beaming at him, like she really was glad to see him.

"Been working as a mechanic. And now I'll be doin' that and helpin' out with the horses too," he mumbled.

Lucy nodded. "I'm glad. Guess I'll get to see ya most every day now. Maybe we can have lunch or something one day and catch up some," she continued. She rolled her eyes mentally at herself-she felt she sounded like an idiot. Daryl Dixon surely had better things to do with his time than to have lunch with a silly girl like her.

To her surprise, as well as his, Daryl nodded. "Yeah, sure. That'd be nice," he mumbled and turned red again. Lucy's mouth dropped open a little in surprise and she snapped it shut quickly. Then she herself turned pink and smiled.

Silas cleared his throat and Lucy started. "Well, guess I best let you get back to work. Don't wanna get ya in trouble your first day," and she giggled and he snorted softly. She turned and practically skipped out of the barn-completely forgetting the reason she had gone in there in the first place, which was to saddle her horse and go riding.

Silas glared at Daryl. "Don't go gettin' any ideas, Dixon. She ain't fer the likes of trash like you," he snarled.

Daryl felt the breath go out of him and nodded silently. He knew Silas was right. But dammit did everyone have to constantly remind him?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Two months had gone by quickly. Daryl found he enjoyed working with the horses and being outdoors –it had brought him a peace he'd never felt before. He often saw Lucy in the stables or in the pastures when he was working with the horses, not realizing Lucy was purposely meeting him this way. Sometimes she had brought him a little lunch to eat in the pasture and would sit and talk with him about school and the people they knew. She never asked him about his family, she had noticed he froze up whenever she mentioned his brother or father so she quickly stopped asking about them.

Daryl knew nothing would ever come of this, but he felt that he should enjoy the time he spent with her while he could. It would give him something to think about once he was back at work at the garage in town and she went off to college or got married or whatever her folks had planned for her.

One afternoon, while Lucy was talking to Daryl in the barn while he brushed her horse down, a young man startled them.

"So it's true. You're slumming with the help," the young man sneered and stepped closer to Lucy and wrapped his arm possessively about her waist.

Daryl looked up and glared at the man-Wade Jackson. He was a few years older than Daryl and had always been quick to harass and ridicule him while they had been in school. Daryl hadn't seen Wade since he'd dropped out-he assumed Wade was in college by now. He'd never heard anything about Wade and Lucy though.

Apparently Lucy hadn't either, judging by the way she flung Wade's arm off her and whirled angrily away from him. Wade laughed in a way that made the hair on the back of Daryl's neck stand up. He'd long heard Wade Jackson was crazy-and not in the ha ha way either. Wade had the reputation of being exceptionally cruel to those he deemed beneath him. There had been rumors about his treatment of various housemaids his family had employed as well as his not abiding strictly by Klan rules and causing a ruckus a few times at meetings. It was also rumored he had been responsible for some of the burning crosses across the county the summer before he'd gone off to college. Wade Jackson was not someone you'd want to cross-even his brother Merle steered clear of him and Merle wasn't afraid of anyone.

"Why Lucy, why you wanna spend time with this trash here when I've been home all summer and ya haven't once come by ta see me," Wade teased in a low, raspy voice to Lucy. Lucy grimaced which caused Wade to frown.

"Why would I want to spend any time with you at all Wade?" she snapped testily back at him. "Aren't you engaged to that Amanda Hawthorne from over in Douglas county? Thought you'd be busy picking out china patterns with her or something," she continued in a dismissive tone and distanced herself further from Wade's grasp.

Daryl choked back his laughter and Wade rounded angrily on him. "Shut your fucking mouth you shitty piece of trash," he demanded. Daryl stepped back in anticipation of Wade striking him.

Lucy ran over and grabbed at Wade's arm. "Wade! Don't you talk to Daryl like that! Who do you think you are coming over here and yelling at folks like that?!" she exclaimed.

Wade quickly turned and gathered Lucy up close to him. She twisted to get out of his hold and he twisted her arm behind her back and held her closer.

"You're hurting me!" she yelled in frustration. Daryl watched helplessly, knowing if he tried to break Wade's hold on Lucy the situation would quickly escalate to something much worse.

Wade smiled down at Lucy. "Wouldn't hurt ya if ya'd just be sweet ta me, baby," he whispered against her throat and Lucy shivered in revulsion. He unexpectedly let Lucy go and she stumbled back into the wall, rubbing her wrist and wincing. "But there'll be plenty of time for ya to be sweet ta me after we're married," he continued, smirking and winking at Lucy.

Lucy shook her head in confusion. "What are you talking about Wade? I'm not marrying you," and she frowned at the continued ache in her wrist.

"Guess yer daddy ain't told ya yet. Well, allow me ta break the news to ya-we're getting married the week after you graduate high school. My daddy and yer daddy already got it all worked out," and Wade laughed in delight at the look of confusion cross Lucy's face.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" Lucy yelped in anger.

The three started as Lucy's brother Tom walked into the barn and surveyed the scene before him. He turned his eyes to Lucy and nodded his head, a look of pity on his face. "Sorry, Luce, but Wade's telling the truth. Daddy and Mr. Jackson have it all arranged. You and Wade are going to marry next summer, after you graduate high school." He turned an angry glance toward Wade. "Although it might have been nice if Wade had bothered to pretend and play nice and ask you and present you with a ring instead of springing it on you like this." He crossed his arms and glared at Wade, who just shrugged lazily and laughed.

Lucy ran at Tom and grabbed his arms and shook him anxiously. "Tom! Tom, you can't mean it. Daddy can't make me marry Wade. Nobody can make me marry anyone!" she blurted out.

Tom took her hands in his and patted them gently. "Sorry sister, but they can and they will. You can't get out of it." When she opened her mouth to protest, Tom held his hand up. "You can't run away-Daddy will hunt you down. He'll cut you off from your money. Trust me, our oldest brother Mason tried that. In the end he married Lena Stephens just like Daddy told him to."

Lucy's mouth fell open and she shook her head angrily. "No. No, he can't do this to me. I won't let him," she spat.

Wade laughed at her and spread his hands out. "Why baby, why wouldn't you want me? I'm from the second richest family in the county, after your family of course. I'm handsome-ask all the gals at my college who they all dream about. I'll keep you in the style to which you are accustomed to, we'll be happy and have money and a big house and you'll have babies for me." He laughed again at the look of disgust and anger on Lucy's face. He pointed suddenly toward Daryl and took a step toward him, making Daryl take a step back. "Unless of course you're into trash like that, and enjoy living in a rundown shack with some filthy redneck and never having any food ta eat," he drawled out angrily at her.

"Wade!" Tom yelled, "that's enough!"

Wade arched a brow at Tom and snickered. "Don't tell me you're fond of trash too Tom," he sneered.

Tom glared at Wade and then crossed his arms and leaned against a stall. "Truth is Wade, that the Dixons aren't trash at all," he sneered in return. "Truth of the matter is your own daddy wanted to marry Daryl's mother-our very own cousin Rebecca. But Will Dixon sweet talked her into eloping with him and your father just couldn't let them be. He hounded and ruined Will in everything he tried to support Rebecca and their family." He paused to let the other three absorb this. Will began to shake his head in denial, and Tom held his hand up motioning Wade to hush. "It's the God's truth Wade. Your daddy just couldn't accept the fact that Rebecca had married some other man. Will wasn't from around here, and his family didn't have money but they were good, church going respectable people from out of Virginia. He was here visiting cousins when he and Rebecca met. He courted her all that summer and when they found out her daddy had arranged for her to marry your daddy, they eloped. Hoping it would all blow over and everything would work out. It didn't. And the reason Daryl's momma died the night he was born is because your fucking daddy had Will jailed on some bullshit charge and he couldn't get home to take care of Rebecca." Tom paused again, seeing the look of pain and shock on Daryl's and Wade's faces. Lucy had sat down as if her legs had given out and was crying.

Wade looked at Tom, confused. "Why haven't I ever heard any of this?"

Tom shook his head. "You know how our families are. They have secrets about anything and everything. And if they don't want anyone to know something, it will never be heard of. But all of it is true. Daryl's mama died giving birth to him because your daddy hated Will Dixon for stealing his girl. My daddy made sure Will had a job and a place to live, but no one bothered to look in on the boys to see how they were faring. And because Will had failed Rebecca he started to drink. And now you see the result of your daddy's vindictiveness." Tom paused again, studying both Wade and Daryl. "You may well end up marrying my sister Wade. Can't keep that from happening. But I can damn well make sure you don't torment Daryl or my sister any more. Do you understand me, Wade?" And Tom stepped up close to Wade. Wade was tall, slightly taller than Tom, but Tom had the heavier build and was far stronger. He had the advantage if it came down to getting physical, but Wade knew that and was smart enough to back off from Tom.

Wade nodded after a minute and turned to glare at Daryl. "You may have free reign here at the Montgomery farm Dixon, but let me catch you in town or anywhere else away from here and you and I will finish this. And I goddam guarantee no one will step in and stop me from beating you to death." Daryl stepped back again at the look of hatred on Wade's face and nodded silently. Wade turned and stalked over to Lucy and roughly turned her face up to his. "See ya later sugar. Don't even think bout tryin' what Dixon's mama did. You and I will be married, and you will be my wife." And with that Wade strode angrily out into the yard towards his car. Lucy angrily wiped at where Wade had touched her face and looked sadly at Tom.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Tom, why? Why are you letting daddy do this to you? And to me?" Lucy asked quietly.

Tom hung his head shamefacedly. "I'm not a strong man, Lucy. I'm a man used to not having to worry bout anything-plenty of money keeps life's troubles away. If I do as my daddy instructs me, I won't ever want for money, I'll always have a home and be able to provide for my family. I may not love the woman I'm marrying, but I can find my happiness in other things. Other women."

Lucy looked at him sharply. "Oh, yes, I got a girl I'm crazy about. But she and I both know what my future is. And she accepts that. She knows she'll always be my secret. That we'll have to be careful and discreet. And for now that's enough for both of us. There'll come a day I know when she'll grow tired of the lies and the sneaking around. And I won't be mad at her, won't try to force her to stay. I'll have to let her go on to have a real life with a man who is willing to marry her no matter what sacrifice he has to make. Until then, I enjoy the time we have together and try not to think too far into the future."

He smiled sadly at both Daryl and Lucy. "I'm no fool, I can see the two of you are in love. Whether or not you know it yourselves, it's plain to everyone around you," and he sighed. "I suggest you two spend as much time as you can together until next summer when the wedding comes around. Be careful. Be discreet. Make sure nobody catches you. And then accept the fact that come next year you will marry Wade and Daryl will probably go off somewhere far away to avoid running into Wade. Until then, find a way to be happy together." He kissed Lucy softly on the forehead and nodded to Daryl.

"Where are you going Tom?" Lucy asked softly.

"Going to see my girl," he whispered and turned and strolled out of the barn whistling.

Lucy turned to look at Daryl, who was standing in the shadows of the stall with his head down. Trying to absorb all that Tom had told them today. That he wasn't trash. That if his mama had married who her daddy had wanted he would be in Wade's place right now-living in a nice house, never worrying about his next meal, nice clothes, friends. Never wondering if this night would be the night his father would kill him beating him when he came home drunk. And Daryl felt a rage like he'd never felt before boil up in him. His goddam worthless father. His father had killed his mother and ruined any chance for both he and Merle of ever having a happy life.

He felt rage at his mother as well. Why hadn't she just married Wade's daddy? Why had she run off with his fool of a father? What had she possibly seen in him to make her abandon her family and risk her future? And what had she gained? She'd been disowned, and then died giving birth to him. Alone except for his brother Merle in a shitty run down house that had no heat in February. He felt like screaming and crying and punching and kicking-he hated God, hated the world, hated everyone and anyone.

He felt Lucy's small warm hand on his and he looked up, unaware tears were rolling down his cheeks. Lucy brushed his shaggy hair out of his eyes and laid her hand on his cheek. "Oh Daryl," she whispered.

Daryl jerked away from her touch angrily. "Don't need yer pity," he snapped. Lucy stepped close to him again and laid her hand on his chest.

"You don't have my pity," she said softly. "You have my love. Tom's right, about me at least. I've loved you as long as I can remember. And because two people fell in love and tried to be together you and I can't be together." Daryl glared at her. "I can understand why your mama ran off with your daddy-she loved him. But I'm selfish-oh how I wish your mama had married Wade's daddy instead and then I would be marrying you next summer instead of Wade." And Lucy laid her face against Daryl's chest and wept, for herself, for Daryl and for her aunt and his father all those long years ago. Daryl folded her into his arms and laid his cheek on top of her head and cried silently along with her.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Morning came, and with it came Lucy's father and mother as well as Lucy's doctor. When Randolph saw Daryl sitting in a chair by his daughter's side, he glared. Merle had tried to talk Daryl into leaving the room and staying hidden until Lucy's parents visit was over, but Daryl had refused. He wasn't leaving Lucy alone to face her parents or her doctor. And he was curious himself to hear what the doctor had to say.

Lucy stirred and sat up, facing her parents and her doctor quietly. Her hand remained in Daryl's with a white knuckle grip on her part. He could see the pulse in her neck begin to jump and her breath grew thready with anxiety. Daryl gave her hand a slight squeeze in return for reassurance.

"What the hell are you doing in here with my daughter?" Randolph blustered out. Lucy's mother sidled over to the opposite side of the bed from Daryl and sat in the chair there, her eyes avoiding everyone's gaze.

The doctor cleared his throat and glanced sternly at Randolph. "Sir, I have to remind you yet again that speaking to your daughter in a threatening and bullying manner will not be tolerated. If we wish for Lucy to heal both physically and emotionally she must be treated with kindness…" before the doctor could continue, Lucy's father cut him off.

"I'm not listening to any more of your bullshit. My daughter has been in and out of I don't know how many treatment centers and hospitals over the last few years and I haven't seen any evidence of improvement of any kind," he blustered. "Seems to me we should just lock her ass up and throw away the key," he snapped. "She's a lost cause, and now she's a murderer as well as crazy," he continued angrily. Lucy flinched and her mother stifled a yelp.

Daryl stood up angrily. "Goddam you, it's no wonder Lucy's in the shape she's in. You've never given a damn about her, that's always been clear to everyone. And now instead of helping her you wanna just throw her away and forget about her," he growled.

Randolph took a step toward Daryl. "You sorry piece of trash. You got no right to talk to me that way. Who the hell do you think you are?"

Daryl flushed and stood up straighter. "I'm your dead cousin's son. I ain't trash, never have been, but you and your buddies made sure me and my family were treated that way. The real trash was Wade-nothing but a lying, lazy, cruel bastard. But you didn't care about any of that. He was your friend's son and that was good enough for you." Daryl yelled. "You should've learned from the past, from your cousin and my mama. Instead we're all stuck in the past, reliving it over and over again."

Lucy's doctor held up his hands. "Gentlemen, this isn't doing Lucy any good. I suggest that you step out for the moment and get yourself under control," he said to Lucy's father.

"Leave? That's my daughter there. He's the one that needs to leave!" Randolph yelled.

"No," the doctor insisted, "your daughter is an adult and she can decide who will stay and who will leave. And I believe I am correct in saying she wishes you and your wife to leave. Now." Lucy's mother quickly scurried out of the room, her father stomping after her with threats of his lawyer ruining the doctor.

When the door shut, the doctor turned to look at Daryl. "And you are?"

Daryl cleared his throat. "An old friend. Known Lucy all my life. Been away for years and came back when I heard she needed me," he rasped, gazing down at Lucy with concern.

The doctor nodded. "Well then, with Lucy's permission I'll include you in my daily update on her progress." At Lucy's nod, he continued. "Her abdominal wound was shallow and luckily she didn't hit anything major. It was relatively easy to clean up and repair. No long term issues." Here he paused. "However, in order to keep Lucy out of jail for the murder of her husband we have to say she has had a relapse and needs to return to the hospital." Daryl shook his head in confusion and Lucy covered her face and began to weep. "It's a private facility in Atlanta. She'll be kept there a minimum of a year, with frequent checks on her progress. And then a decision will be made whether to remand her to a prison, or to have her serve out her sentence in the hospital." The doctor gazed sadly at Lucy and Daryl. Daryl sat down in the chair feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of him. It had been one thing to hear Merle and Lucy tell him she'd killed Wade-it was quite another to have her doctor talk about her going to prison or being sent to a hospital for years on end.

"How long?" Daryl mumbled at last.

"What do you mean?" the doctor asked.

"How long before she goes to Atlanta?" Daryl stared at Lucy, feeling hopeless and desperate.

"At least another week or so. I can manage to keep her here that long to ensure her abdominal wound heals properly before she's transferred." The doctor nodded and stepped out of the room.

Daryl looked around the room, trying to corral his thoughts into some semblance of reason. He couldn't let Lucy go to that hospital. She'd be lost to him forever if she ever went back in there. He glanced over to her and gently pulled her hands back into his. "Lucy," he whispered, and she turned her eyes up to his. "I won't let them take you back there. I'll be damned if I will. I didn't keep you safe from Wade, and he ruined the last eight years of your life- but I'm going to make sure that bastard doesn't ruin the rest of it." He leaned over and kissed her forehead and sat back down to think, keeping her hand clasped tightly in his.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Daryl spent the rest of the day conferring with Merle off and on regarding the hospital Lucy would be sent to and their timeline for her transfer. Daryl was determined Lucy would not be admitted to that hospital, and told Merle if he didn't want to help him then he could count on never hearing from Daryl again.

"I asked you for your help once years ago. And you lied to me and tricked me and locked me up in that fucking cellar. Ya kept me from taking Lucy away. I hold you just as responsible as her family for what's happened to her. Now, you can either help me keep her out of that fucking hospital or you can say goodbye to me and I don't ever want to hear or see you again," Daryl spat out as he paced anxiously in Lucy's room.

Merle was leaned up against the wall nearest the room door to prevent anyone from entering and watched and listened silently to Daryl as he paced about. One old habit baby brother had quickly reverted to. Merle realized the truth of his baby brother now-he was Merle's equal in ruthlessness and determination and Merle would not be able to bully or manipulate or trick Daryl ever again. If he wanted to have any relationship with his brother, Merle would have to treat Daryl as his equal and show him respect. It both rankled Merle and made him proud-his brother had grown up and didn't need anyone. Not even him if it came down to it.

Lucy watched silently from her bed, playing with the lunch the staff had brought her. "Eat Lucy. Cain't take ya away from here and all this shit if ya don't get some strength back," Daryl snapped irritably at her. Lucy's eyes widened at the tone of his voice and bit her lip.

Daryl sighed. He had spent the last few years giving orders at the ranch and hadn't had to worry how he sounded to anyone. Men didn't think about that shit or get offended unless you were a total prick for no reason. Most of the men he'd worked with were similar to him-taciturn, speaking only when necessary. It was a quiet existence and he'd been very comfortable for the first time in his life out there on the ranch.

He felt almost frantic with the need to get back there. He hadn't realized just how deeply he despised the very state of Georgia, the South and every one that lived there with their pretense of civility and politeness and manners. Out West folks were hard and cold and silent and honest. No pretense there. No games. No pretending to be a good church going Christian all the while laughing and ridiculing folks who they thought weren't good enough behind their fancy closed doors.

He gazed thoughtfully at Lucy. The Daryl from long ago would have apologized, would soften his voice and reassure her. He was no longer that boy, hadn't been for a long time. And if he was honest with himself, he didn't want to ever be that boy again. The man he was now wasn't afraid of Merle or anyone else for that matter. He didn't bow down to anyone, he didn't apologize for his existence to anyone.

And if Lucy wanted to be with him, then she would have to accept the fact that he had changed. And deal with it. Just like he was going to have to accept the fact that she had changed in ways he was not happy about. He had thought she was stronger than this-that she would've found a way to survive her marriage to Wade and found some way to be happy. He had never once imagined she would have tried to kill herself multiple times or become addicted to alcohol and drugs. To be fair, he didn't know all the details of her marriage to Wade so it wasn't really right for him to judge her.

He also knew that no matter what had happened in her marriage, no matter how she had dealt with it, no matter how weak she may or may not be –he loved her. Unconditionally. And if she was weak, he could be strong enough for the both of them until he got her away from here and helped her to hopefully get her confidence back. He would move Heaven and Earth to be with her this time, and he'd be damned if he would let anyone get in the way of that. He would gladly give his soul to the Devil to have time with her now.

Lucy gazed at him thoughtfully. He was so different than he'd been all those years ago. She'd been able to twist him around her finger back then. And he'd twisted her around his. They'd been babies really. Children. But he'd grown up into a handsome, self-assured, confident man. Whereas she had spent years wallowing in her unhappiness. She was more deeply ashamed of herself now than she ever had been. She wouldn't blame him if he turned around and walked out, disgusted with how weak and silly she was. She wasn't sure her own self if she'd ever get her confidence back.

Daryl turned and saw Lucy crying silently, her food untouched. He felt a surge of anger flare in him. "Merle, step outside a minute will ya?" he snapped at Merle and Merle started in surprise. He raised a brow at Daryl and at the look on Daryl's face he turned and stepped outside quickly to stand beside the guard still posted there.

Daryl crossed the room to sit beside Lucy's bed. "Lucy," he said in a voice she'd never heard out of him. He sounded stern, no nonsense. She felt like a child being scolded and she cringed and half turned away from him.

Daryl grabbed her shoulder firmly and turned her back to face him. He placed a hand under her chin and raised her face to his level. "Look at me Lucy when I talk to you," he said quietly. Her eyes widened in surprise. "I'm going to tell you this once, and I want you to think about what I'm saying." Lucy nodded slightly. "You are going to get better. You are going to get stronger. Until you do, I'll take care of you and be strong for both of us. But I expect you to make the effort –I won't allow you to sit and cry and wring your hands. You're not this woman. The Lucy I know is strong and fierce and smart and funny and not afraid of anything. Or anyone. Ever." He paused to let her absorb this. "I love you. I won't leave you. Not ever. But in return you will be the Lucy you and I both know you really are. I expect nothing less from you because I know you and I believe in you." He released her chin and pressed a firm kiss to her lips. "Finish your lunch. Part of getting your strength back is eating and gaining weight. I want that plate cleaned when I get back." And Daryl turned and left the room.

Lucy snapped her mouth shut and wiped her face of her tears. That had been different. For the first time in a very, very long time she felt interested in something and she felt a tingle in her skin she hadn't felt since the last time she'd been with Daryl, before she'd gotten married to Wade. She sat up and took a forkful of food and forced herself to chew it and swallow. It tasted like sawdust but she'd be damned if he'd scold her like that again. She'd clean that plate and see what he said about it. And a ghost of a smile crossed her lips.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Daryl and Merle finalized their plan over the next two days. Lucy was scheduled to be transferred to the facility in Atlanta Saturday morning. Daryl planned on sneaking Lucy out of the hospital Friday night and taking her someplace she wouldn't be found. Until he could think of a way to get her out West with him. Obviously not to the ranch-the cops and Lucy's family would search for her-she had murdered Wade after all. They would have to start over someplace and he would have to find work with no references. It would be tough for a while, but they could manage. He had heard of men who wanted to hide from their past settling in Canada and Alaska. They could go there. Merle could join them, as long as he understood Daryl would not put up with any of his bullshit-no drugs, no drinking, no brushes with the law.

They had decided on driving up near Helen, up in the mountains. Daryl and Merle had gone hunting up there when they were younger. There should be plenty of cabins up there, mostly empty since it was spring and in between ski season and boating season. They could hole up there for a while until they decided whether to go to Alaska or Canada. He knew there were miles and miles along the border up in Montana that they could cross over and no one would ever find them. Hopefully.

Daryl hadn't told Lucy any of the plan. He didn't want to take the chance of her backing out or blurting it out at the wrong time to her doctor or anyone else. So he spent the days until Friday stocking up on supplies and keeping an eye on Lucy. He'd noticed that she was cleaning her plate every meal, although he had seen her struggle a bit to finish sometimes. He had no doubt it was due to the quality of hospital food and that once she had some decent food to eat she'd get her appetite back.

The doctor had her on some medication to help her with the aftereffects of her heavy drinking. As well as her addiction to Valium he'd been told she had. He had told Merle to lay in a good supply of the meds Lucy was being given so that she could continue them at least a couple of months to get her over the hump. He hadn't asked Merle for any details of how he had procured the meds, and Merle hadn't volunteered any. He had happily noted that Merle was much less talkative than he had previously been-and he certainly wasn't teasing or bullying Daryl as he had been wont to do while they were growing up.

Friday morning Daryl sat watching Lucy trying to clean her plate. He smirked, imagining when they'd be alone again and he could feed her like he had that year they'd been together. Holding peaches, strawberries, cherries, watermelon-anything really, over her open mouth. Teasing her, telling her she couldn't bite until he told her to. Which very quickly turned into him kissing her and running his hands over her body-telling her she couldn't move unless he told her to. Lucy playing along with him, pretending to obey him. When all along they'd both known she was the one in control-that he would have done anything she had asked of him. Anything at all.

Daryl shook his head slightly at the memory and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He hadn't been with any woman since the last night he'd spent with Lucy. Eight long years. He'd pushed all of that down deep inside him and channeled all his frustration and desire into the grueling physical labor at the ranch. He had avoided going to the local bars with the other hands, not wanting to chance fucking up his job at the ranch because he knew he was an angry drunk and any trip to any bar would end in a fight. He had avoided bars, no alcohol was allowed at the ranch. He had avoided drugs of any kind. The only vice he'd kept was smoking. He might die of lung cancer but he wouldn't die in jail from fighting or from an overdose.

It hadn't been so much that he was too in love with Lucy to ever be with another woman. That was a part of it. But more than that he hadn't wanted to be close to anyone else after Lucy. He hadn't wanted to be physically close to anyone-not even for the brief time it would've taken for a bar fuck against a wall. He shunned any friendships at the ranch-he got along with the other hands, but he didn't form any bond with any of them. Losing Lucy had broken something in him, and he hadn't wanted to make any effort to fix it even if he'd known how.

Now, for the first time since that last time with Lucy, he felt a hum in his blood. He found himself noticing the green of the trees, the birds singing, the masses of flowers blooming everywhere about him. Looking at the sky at night, gazing up at the stars he felt an overwhelming urge to fall to his knees and weep with relief that he was with Lucy again. Each morning he had woken since he'd arrived he had felt a joy he had never thought to feel again. All because of Lucy. And he knew that if this didn't work, if he couldn't steal her away from here and keep her safe and with him then he would die. He would not go back to feeling nothing again. He couldn't, not after experiencing that joy again.

"Finish up yer breakfast and then take a good long shower. Get ready to go out," Daryl said quietly to Lucy, glancing over at the door to be sure no one was entering.

Lucy frowned at him and started to ask him what was going on. Daryl shook his head at her and waved his hand at her. "No, no questions. Do what I tell you Lucy. Trust me to take care of you, and do what I ask of you. Otherwise this won't work," he said quietly but firmly. He noticed a little flash of that old stubbornness cross her face and then it was gone, replaced by a small smile. She nodded and pushed her tray away from her, and he noted it was fairly clean. He couldn't fault her for leaving some of it on there-the food really was shit here.

He watched her step into the adjoining bathroom and close the door. When he heard the water start in the shower, he crossed the room to the door and opening it motioned to Merle.

"What have ya heard? Anything change?" he whispered to Merle. The security guard picked his paper up and made a show of opening it and pretending to be absorbed in it. Merle snickered and shook his head at Daryl.

"Naw, my friend at the nurse's station there told me plans are still on for Lucy to go to Atlanta tomorrow mid morning. You tell Lucy anything yet?" Merle looked quickly up and down the hall.

Daryl shook his head. "No. And I ain't going to. Not until we're in the truck and heading out. Don't wanna take no chances." And he stepped back into the room, leaving Merle to keep watch with the guard.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Daryl's plans had gone without a hitch. He had waited until shift change at the hospital, and simply walked her out of the room, down the stairs and out to the truck where Merle was waiting for them. They took the backroads toward Helen and arrived at the lake just after nine that night. Merle had gone up the day before to scout around a bit and found them a cabin on the far side of the lake, set apart from the others. It was a smaller cabin, just the bare necessities but it would be enough for what they needed.

Daryl had been uneasy with how smoothly things had gone. Lucy's parents hadn't shown up unexpectedly, in fact they hadn't been back to see Lucy since the day Daryl had had words with Randolph. He had also been uneasy at the lack of traffic on the roads as they made their way to the back roads and gravels. He felt antsy, fidgety and couldn't pin down what it was that made him feel that way. Almost like things had gone too smoothly.

When they arrived at the cabin, he had insisted that Lucy stay in the truck while he and Merle checked the cabin over once more. Once he had made sure there weren't any police waiting for them or some type of ambush awaiting them, he led Lucy inside. She had been silent the entire trip, which he was deeply grateful for. He had been too wired up to have any patience answering any questions she had. Once they were settled in the cabin and he felt a little less anxious, she could ask anything she wanted. He saw that she had picked up on his mood and he was grateful for that as well-that apparently she had fallen back quickly into being able to read him and knew when to stay quiet and let him think.

Merle brought their supplies and belongings in and he and Daryl set about settling in. It was April, but up in the mountains the nights were still cold and although the cabin had a fireplace Daryl didn't want to chance anyone seeing smoke from a fire. He also didn't want to attract attention by having any lights on so they lit the room with camping lanterns they'd picked up. They could bundle up in extra blankets to stay warm for the time being.

Daryl made sure Lucy ate something-he'd brought some fruit and handed her an apple and some milk he'd picked up and told her to get something in her stomach before turning in. When she was done eating, he told her to go on to bed and he'd be in shortly. He and Merle had things to talk about.

Lucy nodded silently and headed into the bedroom. She laid down on the bed, still dressed in her jeans and a sweatshirt that were entirely too loose on her. She hadn't realized just how thin she'd gotten until she'd gotten dressed in her clothes to leave with Daryl. Even with cleaning her plate this last week her clothes were still too loose on her. She realized she couldn't remember the last time she'd even paid any attention to how she looked or how her clothes fit. She had never been a curvy girl, not much in the way of hips or breasts-something Wade had enjoyed tormenting her about endlessly. But now what little she'd had seemed to have had slipped away. She ran her hands over her chest and hips, thinking ruefully she'd had more curves when she'd been fifteen than she did right now.

She lay on the bed and sighed, ashamed all over again at what the years had done to her-or more correctly what she had done to herself. There was nothing about her that would make any man want to be with her and certainly not a man like Daryl. She turned onto her side, away from the door, and curled up under a blanket and closed her eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

She heard Daryl come in a few minutes later. She felt his weight as he sat on the edge of the bed and removed his boots. Then he sighed and stretched out on his back beside her. He hadn't brought a lamp in with him, the room was pitch black. She began to think he had fallen asleep when she started at his voice.

"Tell me what happened. What happened between you and Wade. I need to hear it, and you need to tell it. And then we can put it behind us." His voice was soft, but again had that sternness to it. He wasn't asking her, he was telling her.

Lucy sighed and moved restlessly. "What do you want me to tell you? I hated him. He hated me after a while. And then I killed him."

Daryl rolled to his side and pulled Lucy to him, onto her back. "No. I want you to tell me. You know what I mean. Get it out of you." His voice was barely above a whisper.

Lucy had tensed up when he had laid his hand on her arm and she felt a panic begin to rise in her. She didn't want to talk about this. She just wanted to forget it all and start over.

"No," she hissed with anger and hurt. "I don't want to.."

Before she could finish Daryl shook her roughly. "Damn you Lucy. You're going to say it. Tell me."

Lucy started to cry, and he could feel her trembling. "What do you want to know? Our wedding night was a nightmare. He raped me- said he wanted to wipe every trace of you from me. Said he would make me love him, make me forget you. And that's how it was every time he came to my bed." Daryl made a noise and Lucy sniffed. "We had separate bedrooms. Wade's idea. I didn't argue, I was glad for the chance to be alone and sleep in peace when he let me. At first he would visit me near every night, then it was a couple times a week, then a couple times a month. I didn't argue, didn't complain. I was glad he was leaving me alone. Hoped he had a girlfriend. Prayed he'd fall in love with some girl and divorce me and leave me alone." She sighed again and Daryl rubbed his hand up and down her arm soothingly. "Bout two months or so after we married, I thought I might be pregnant. I made an appointment to see the doctor. Hoped I was and that it might be yours. At least I'd have some part of you. But Wade fixed that."

"How? What do you mean?" Daryl asked, anger surging in him again.

"Somehow he knew I was going to the doctor that day, and guessed why. He punched me as hard as he could," Daryl growled, "and then pushed me down the stairs. Broke my collar bone. Miscarried. While I was lying there, waiting for the ambulance to show up, he leaned over and smiled at me. Never saw anyone smile like that before, but I damn sure saw it plenty of times after that. I knew then that he was crazy. Pure crazy. And he told me that he was going to make damn sure that any kids born with his name were actually his kids. He wasn't going to spend the rest of his life wondering if that baby was his or yours." She drew a painful breath, the memory vivid in her mind. Daryl growled again and he got up and fumbled for his cigarettes. Lighting one, he laid back down on the bed and took a deep drag.

"What else?" he asked quietly, and Lucy could hear the barely controlled anger in his voice.

"Ain't that enough? Goddammit, do you want me to give you a list of the daily humiliations and cruelty I had to put up with from that sorry son of a bitch?"

Daryl smiled. Good, she was getting angry. Angry was better than depressed, suicidal and whatever else she had been all these years. If he had to make her mad every day to make her see how strong she really was, then he would do just that.

"Naw, don't need a list of daily bullshit ya went through. Just a general idea," he drawled. He could hear her make a noise of irritation and smiled again. "So, did ya ever get pregnant again? Before this last time I mean?"

He felt her move restlessly and she threw his hand off her impatiently. "No. I told my doctor I didn't want any children right away, hell I was eighteen. So he fixed me up with an IUD. Said I didn't have to do anything with it, he put it in and I just had to see him every six months to check on it. That went on pretty well for years. Wade had no clue. He kept accusing me of taking the pill but he could never find any." She barked a bitter laugh. "Anyway, whenever he'd yell about my not having any babies for him, I just reminded him that he was the one who made me miscarry and that made it hard for me to get pregnant. Thankfully the idiot believed me." She paused a minute. Her pulse had picked up and she could feel herself getting more and more furious as she spoke.

"Go on," Daryl urged her after she'd been quiet a few minutes.

Lucy suddenly sat up and crossed her legs, and even in the dark Daryl could clearly tell she was growing more angry. "Go on. Well what else do you need me to tell you? I started drinking and got hold of some Valium. And the days I'd drink and pop one of those were heaven. I felt like I was in a little bubble. Wade couldn't bother me. Of course, every now and then he'd get embarrassed by my stumbling around at some party or passing out in the tub and he'd send me off to the hospital to sober up." Her voice dropped. "When I knew I'd be going back to him, I'd find ways to try to kill myself. Slice my wrists, save up my meds and take them all at once. Anything to keep from going back home to him."

Daryl stayed quiet this time, letting her gather her thoughts.

"I tell you, a person learns an awful lot while they're in the hospital. Stuff they really shouldn't be finding out about. All kinds of creative ways to hurt or kill yourself that I had never even thought of," she continued softly.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Daryl thought about everything she'd said, but was certain something wasn't being said still. "That all? Ya drank, popped pills, tried to kill yerself," he mumbled, hoping to God that was all of it.

"Is that all?" she yelped testily. "No," she spat out.

"Well?" he snapped. He wasn't cutting her any slack. He wanted it all out tonight.

"I fucked any man that showed the slightest interest in me. His friends, our gardener, you name it. And along with the fucking I found someone who showed me how to shoot up heroin. Showed me how to inject it different places and rotate so there wouldn't be any track marks. Wasn't a daily thing, mainly when I saw that one guy. Kept it hid for a long time too. Wade never did find out everything I'd been doing-sure didn't know bout me fuckin' his friends-they weren't fools, they knew to be careful."

"How the hell did he not know what was going on?" Daryl wondered aloud.

Lucy made a disgusted sound. "Hell the guys he asked to keep an eye on me were the guys fucking me. We all covered up for each other all the time. When Wade went out of town, it was like kids whose parents are gone from the house. We had parties, not loud noisy ones, but there was drinking and drugs and lots of sex. I mean, this didn't start until a couple of years ago. I wasn't a slut our entire marriage. I guess I wanted to be with anyone who would treat me better than he was. Even if it was just for a night or so."

"So how did it stop? Did Wade find out?" he asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. Christ, this was worse than he'd thought.

"His damn daddy. That bastard showed up one evening and saw what was going on-luckily it wasn't a big party, just a couple of Wade's friends and their girlfriends, definitely not their wives."

Daryl hmmmd. "So Wade's daddy told on ya?"

Lucy snorted in disgust again. "Only after I told him I wasn't about to fuck him." Daryl made a choked noise. "Oh yeah, Wade's daddy, my own father in law. Told me it could be our little secret if I played nice with him. I'd already been putting up with his sorry asshole son for years, I wasn't about to put up with him too. And as they say, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I threw a fit. Trashed the house, attacked him. He kept quiet about what all he'd found and who all was there, but I got sent off to the hospital again for a lot longer visit. His story was that he'd come over to check on me and I'd just gone crazy. And I sure wasn't about to say he was lying. I didn't want Wade to know what all had been going on."

"How long were you at the hospital?" Daryl pressed.

"Six months-six of the longest damn months I'd ever spent. But it was good for me. I saw a therapist who actually wanted to help me instead of collecting a fat paycheck. And when I got out I continued to see her, part of my continuing treatment. I felt better than I had in years, and actually felt like I might be able to do something to get away from Wade and straighten myself up." Lucy sighed and fell silent again.

Daryl sat up at that. "So you were clean. You were seeing a therapist. What the hell happened to make you kill Wade?"

He heard Lucy get off the bed and start to pace. "I got pregnant. While I was in the hospital I had some problems and they were because of the IUD. I had to have it taken out. I got some pills, but when I got home he found them and threw them out. Had a fit. Then he started visiting me again in my bedroom." He could hear the anxiety increasing in her voice. "I found out I was pregnant and Wade wanted to have some big celebration dinner. And I just couldn't do it. I couldn't be happy about being pregnant. Didn't want to bring a child into the mess that our marriage was. Hell, I couldn't trust myself to take care of a baby even without Wade figuring into it. So, when he sat down to dinner that night and started babbling about how much he loved me and how happy we were going to be and he'd known that someday he'd make me love him…..I just couldn't listen to it. He was crazy. And he'd made me crazy. So I grabbed the knife out of the meat on the table and stabbed him. In the chest. Quick. Cuz I knew if I hesitated he'd stop me and he would kill me. I didn't care if he killed me, but I wanted to make sure he went to hell along with me by my hand."

She stopped pacing and fell silent, remembering that night. Daryl was quiet, listening to her rapid breathing and her choked sobs. "I don't remember too much else about that night. I just know I wanted to be sure he was dead. I guess I just kept stabbing him over and over. And somewhere in there I stabbed myself. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was trying to make sure I didn't have his baby." She sank down on the bed beside him again. He could hear the hurt and shame in her voice, but underneath that there was the sound of anger he wanted to hear.

Daryl pulled her over toward him and she lay her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and ran his fingers through her tangled curls.

"So. Now you know just how awful I am. Wouldn't blame you if you left and went back out west to your ranch and your life. I'm a drug addict, an alcoholic, a slut and a murderess. Not to mention I look like a boy from not eating right for years. Nothing about me that would tempt any man in his right mind to want to be with me," she whispered against his chest.

"Well now Lucy, ain't nobody ever said I was in my right mind. Ever. So I reckon if you could love me all those years ago despite my family and my background then I reckon I can love you now despite everything you've been and done these last eight years. If Wade ran you crazy, he ran me crazy too. Not being with you, feeling guilty for not keeping you from him. And now to know how bad it was with him. I guarantee that if he wasn't already dead by your hand he damn sure would be by mine now." He sighed and held Lucy tighter to him. "We're going somewhere that we can start over, the both of us. And after tonight we don't ever have to talk about any of this again. It's over and done with." He kissed the crown of her head softly.

Lucy nodded against his chest. "I don't mind being crazy if you're crazy right there with me. Your crazy isn't mean or hateful or cruel. And I can live with that," she whispered.

Daryl laughed softly into her hair and pulled her down so they were lying side by side on the bed. "Sounds like a deal Lucy," he kissed her cheek and she sighed. "As much as I'd like to rip your clothes off and reacquaint myself with your body, I think we should wait a bit so your stitches heal up some. Don't need your stitches ripping while we're trying to keep hid. That okay with you?" he whispered into her ear, and she shivered.

"No, but I'll listen to you for now. I'll let you be bossy for a while, but only for a little while. I know you're different now, you're used to being in charge and nobody questioning you-but you should remember that I have a temper and don't like anybody telling me what to do. Wade never did beat my stubbornness out of me, and part of our problem was that whenever he'd start in on me I fought back. Always."

Daryl snorted at that. "Glad to hear it. And no, I didn't forget your temper or your hard head when it comes to anyone telling you to do anything. That's what I was counting on not changing about you. It's what I missed most," and he kissed her on the corner of her mouth and laughed softly.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The next morning Daryl let Lucy sleep in while he went into the main room and made some coffee. Merle was awake, watching the old black and white tv. "What's that yer watchin'" Daryl mumbled, walking over to the couch with a mug. He rubbed his hand over his face and stood by the couch and glanced at the tv.

Merle glanced over and shook his head. "Don't know. Some kinda news bulletin. Said something about an epidemic of the flu or some shit." Merle lit a cigarette and frowned as he continued to watch the news.

"Epidemic? Around here?" Daryl started to pace and Merle smirked a bit. It hadn't taken very long for Daryl to fall right back into some of his habits.

"So far it's just saying up in New York, DC, some of the bigger cities. And some cities over there in Europe too. London, Paris." Daryl frowned. Merle hadn't taken his eyes off the screen. If Merle was interested in this, it couldn't be good.

"So, what? They tellin' folks to stay home?"

Merle nodded, still not taking his eyes off the screen. "Yeah, tellin' folks to stay home to keep the flu from spreadin'. In the bigger cities they're settin' up quarantine areas for the sick folks to stay and get treated. I'm thinkin' we need ta stay here and keep an eye on this shit. No sense in us gettin' sick tryin' to get to Canada or wherever we're goin'". Daryl nodded silently, watching the images of the quarantine areas being set up around the country and over in Europe.

"Hey, why aren't they tellin' folks to go get a shot or medicine from their doctor?" The two men turned to see Lucy standing there, her hair tangled and tousled and her face bearing the impression of the sheets.

Daryl frowned again. "You're right. Merle did they say anything yet about that?" He held his arm out and Lucy crossed the room to stand beside him and he wrapped his arm around her.

Merle lit another cigarette and Daryl raised his brows. Merle was chain smoking, lighting one cigarette off the other. That was one of the few tells of Merle's that let Daryl know Merle was anxious about something. Daryl felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Something about this wasn't right.

"Go on and eat somethin' Lucy. We're gonna stick around here a couple days, keep an eye on this shit. Just rest up and…" his voice trailed off as he saw on the tv a scene of rioting in India somewhere. "What the hell…" he sat down on the couch beside Merle, both of them mesmerized by what was happening on the screen.

Lucy stared at the tv from behind them. On the one hand, this meant no one would be looking for her very hard. On the other hand, it meant they might get sick themselves and end up dying. She felt the bile rise up in her throat. All these years with Wade, now he's dead and she wouldn't live much longer or get any chance at happiness due to some damn flu epidemic. Wasn't that just rich?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

They spent the next week watching the news. Some stations were for the first time broadcasting around the clock to keep the public informed on the flu epidemic-now called a pandemic. The first flu pandemic since the "Asian flu" episode in 1957-58. Before that one there had been the near catastrophic episode in 1918 which had killed twenty to fifty million worldwide.

They had watched hours of scenes of rioting around the world, governments declaring martial law to curb the rioting, cities being bombed and burned. In the US, they had watched the National Guard being moved into the larger cities, and some states were under martial law. Travel was being restricted on the highways. Hospitals were overflowing, quarantine sites were turning people away.

Merle, Daryl and Lucy were relieved they'd gotten out of the town and away to the deserted lake resort before the shit began hitting the fan in earnest. They talked every day about trying to make their way to Wyoming, and every day decided to stay a little bit longer. Travel would have been difficult at best anyway since the major highways were being monitored and patrolled and travel was being discouraged. There had even been reports of people trying to travel despite the warnings being shot or jailed. The president had not made any appearances the last few days, and he and the government leaders were rumored to be in a safe house to run the country remotely.

The bodies of the dead were being burned at unspecified disposal sites. Better to cut the risk of infecting more people, the news said. Daryl and Merle decided the majority of what was being told on tv was bullshit-there was something going on besides people dying of the flu worldwide. Anytime anyone died, they were immediately whisked off to the disposal sites. The disposal sites weren't named, or shown.

The whole situation was abysmal, horrific, but at the same time all three agreed it had come at an opportune time for them. No one was looking for Lucy. No one would try to track her down and take her and them to jail. Everyone was preoccupied with the pandemic and an escaped murderess from a small Southern town wasn't any concern to anyone at this point.

The weather was beautiful-warm but not hot, cool breezes blowing every day. Sunny, none of the usual heavy spring rains. And the nights were cool but not cold so they didn't have to bother with the fireplace or heat after all. Lucy spent the days eating and lounging by the lake while the men kept an eye on the news or hunted and fished. Her appetite was coming back, and Daryl was pleased at this. If they did decide to head out anytime in the next few weeks, Lucy would be in much better physical shape than she had been when they'd first arrived.

Midway through the second week at the lake, the news reports stopped. Some of the stations were blacked out, others seemed to show a loop of tv programs around the clock without any explanation. They had been able to get some news on the radio for a few more days, then that stopped as well. By the third week, there was nothing at all on any station-radio or tv. Sometimes they could hear loud booming coming from the south, toward Atlanta. Merle thought perhaps it was bombing-but did it mean the US was under attack, or was their own government bombing them like they'd seen in other places on the news?

Merle and Daryl talked one night about going down to Atlanta on the back roads to see just what in the hell was happening. They felt they were relatively safe staying at the lake, but they needed to know just what was going on out there in the world. They made plans to leave early the next morning. They knew what backroads and gravels to take, and they packed plenty of ammo and weapons just in case. From what they'd seen on the tv before every station went off air, it was best for them to be prepared for anything they might run across.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Merle was outside, getting the truck ready to leave in the morning. Daryl was standing by the fireplace, looking out the window at the lake, smoking. Lucy was sitting on the couch glaring at him. He hadn't mentioned anything to her at all about her going with them. And she wasn't about to be left here alone. She was tapping her foot angrily, her arms crossed over her chest.

Daryl knew she was fuming, but he wasn't about to ask her what she was mad about. He knew that too. She had assumed that because he hadn't said anything specifically to her that she was going to be left behind. It had irritated him that she would ever think he would leave her here alone with the things so uncertain outside this area. So he had stubbornly refused to tell her anything. He guessed that this had been part of the problems between her and Wade-both of them jumping to conclusions and assuming things. That and Wade had been a sorry son of a bitch. He wasn't about to put up with any of that shit. She either trusted him or she didn't. And that meant not jumping to conclusions or assuming anything.

They had been getting more used to each other again the last few weeks. He was still hesitant to have sex with her-worried about her stitches which he'd taken out finally-as well as wanting to make sure she was physically stronger. That didn't mean they hadn't been doing other things-lots of kissing, touching, exploring each other, remembering where the other liked to be touched and kissed.

He knew she was getting frustrated, so was he. But he wanted it to be right between them-no ghost of Wade between them. Because even though Lucy said she didn't think about Wade, he knew she did. Not longingly, or affectionately, but hell they'd been married. How could she not think of him? Unlike Wade, Daryl knew Lucy was the only one who could put those memories in perspective and deal with them in a way that wouldn't make her feel guilty or ashamed. And that took time.

Daryl continued to smoke silently, and suppressed a smirk when he heard Lucy fidgeting on the couch.

"Well?" she snapped. He bit his lip to keep from laughing. He'd wondered how long it would take her to say something. She had never had any patience.

He deliberately kept his back to her. "Well what?" he drawled.

Lucy jumped off the couch and stomped over toward him. He half turned to her and kept his face impassive.

"Well, if you think I'm staying here alone while you and Merle go off on some damn road trip you are crazy!" she snapped. Her face was flushed and her eyes were snapping.

"Who said you were staying here?" he asked quietly.

Lucy's mouth fell open and she stomped her foot. "Well you haven't said a word to me about …."

"Didn't know I had to ask your opinion or input on everything I do," he replied quietly. He deliberately kept all emotion out of his voice.

Lucy glared at him. "What the hell does that mean? I thought.."

"You thought. But you never once asked. You've worked yourself up into a temper tantrum because you didn't bother to open your mouth and ask me anything," Daryl interrupted her. "I told you I'm different now. I've spent the last eight years working with and for people who trust me and don't second guess my decisions. If they have questions, they ask me. If you want to be with me then I expect you to act like a responsible adult and treat me with respect. If you have questions, ask me. I'm not going to put up with damn temper tantrums every other day." His voice had gotten slightly louder as he spoke, but he wasn't yelling.

Lucy flushed with both embarrassment and anger. "So I'm going with you and Merle then?" she snapped.

"Yes. Do you really think I would leave you here alone?" He crossed his arms over his chest now and leaned against the fireplace. He had a feeling there was something here that needed dealing with but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Lucy fidgeted a bit, opened and closed her mouth.

"If ya got something ta say Lucy, say it," said tersely.

"You left me alone last time," she choked out. He watched her eyes fill up and tears spill down her cheeks.

"Last time?" he was confused now.

Lucy shrugged and started twisting her hands together. "You said you'd come get me. That we'd run off together. And then you never showed up," she whispered. "Why didn't you show up that night? What made you leave me there to get married to Wade?"

Daryl blew out a breath. So that's what this was all about. "I didn't come get you because Merle locked me in the cellar two days before the wedding. Didn't let me out until you and Wade were gone on your honeymoon."

Lucy gazed at him in confusion. "What are you talking about? Merle told me you'd decided to go off to some damn ranch out West. That my daddy had offered you money for a new start and you'd taken it. Why? I thought you loved me and that you wanted to be with me." She was crying openly now.

Daryl growled angrily. Merle. "No. That's not what happened. Merle locked me in the cellar. Then took me out West to some damn ranch where he'd arranged for me to get a job. Told me your daddy had said if I left town and never came back he'd keep Wade from finding me and everything would be forgotten. I didn't get any damn money either." He was furious now. Damn Merle and all his lies.

"Well, why didn't you ever call me? Merle said he gave you my number. He said he sent you my letters too. Why didn't you ever answer them? Merle said he told you to send the letters to him and he'd pass them on to me. But whenever I asked, he always said you hadn't written. Told me that you were happy, had a girl and were thinking about getting married and that I should just forget you." Lucy was sobbing heavily by now.

Daryl began to pace, beyond furious. "You wrote me letters? And gave them to Merle to pass on to me?" Lucy nodded. "I swear to you Lucy, I never got any damn letters. This is the first I've heard of it. And I never dated any woman out there, sure never thought about getting married. Fact is I didn't talk to Merle. Any time he called I refused to talk to him. First time I talked to him since I went out west was when he called to tell me you were in the hospital last month."

"How did he convince you to go out west?" Lucy asked quietly, watching Daryl pace.

"Told me that you'd changed your mind. That you'd decided us running off together would just cause problems and that you were going to marry Wade and I should forget about you. Merle said that because you had come to your senses Wade had agreed to leave me alone if I went away and didn't ever come back. He never mentioned anything about money though," and Daryl paused in his pacing and glared out at the lake.

"So Merle lied to both of us, made each of us think the other was happy when all along we were miserable-at least I was. I kept hoping you'd come back. I waited and waited for you. After a couple of years when Merle told me you'd found a girl and were thinking about marrying, I just gave up. On everything. That's when I started drinking a lot and then everything else happened. Oh god," Lily sobbed.

Daryl pulled her into his arms. "Listen, we ain't gonna talk bout this to Merle. Not right now. We're gonna pretend we don't know nothin' bout this. When the time is right, I'll confront him. But right now we gotta worry about getting to town in one piece and finding out what the hell is goin' on. I promise you though, Merle will pay for this. I swear to you he will. You can believe me about that." Lucy wiped her face and nodded. "C'mon, get cleaned up so he doesn't think somethings goin' on. We'll eat something and go to bed early so we can get an early start." He pushed her toward the bathroom.

After dinner, Merle and Daryl finalized their plans and then turned in. It took everything Daryl had in him to not beat the hell out of his brother, but he reminded himself that for now at least he needed Merle as an extra hand in case they ran into trouble. He had however decided that once they got out west or wherever they decided to settle, Merle would be going his own way. He now hated his own brother more than he'd ever hated anyone in his life. His very own blood had betrayed him in just about every way he could and Daryl was sure that even now if he confronted Merle he would continue to lie about it all.

He stepped into the bedroom and closed the door and locked it. Now that he knew the extent that Merle had betrayed both he and Lucy, he didn't want to be left vulnerable to Merle in any way.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Daryl slid into bed beside Lucy and she immediately rolled over against him. He could feel she had no clothing on and his blood started racing. He reached over for her, and pulled her closer to him. She clutched his shirt in her hands and moaned softly. "I don't want to wait anymore Daryl, please?" she whispered against his neck.

Daryl stripped his shirt off and threw it to the floor. "We ain't gonna wait any more Lucy. I'm done waiting." He rolled over til she was under him, bracing himself on his elbows. He began to kiss her neck, whispering all the things he'd been saying to her for weeks now. How much he loved her, how much he'd missed her, how he'd never let her out of his sight ever again.

Lucy arched and moved under his hands and mouth, feverish and impatient for his touch. After a few minutes, she grabbed his shoulders and tried to pull him back up to her. "I want you in me Daryl. I don't need no foreplay or anything else. I've been wet for you every day since you came back. Hurry up and fuck me. I want to feel you in me," she whispered in a voice husky from desire. Daryl hastily undid his jeans and peeled them off along with his boxers.

Lucy's hand gripped his cock and he gasped then moaned. "Hurry Daryl. I can't stand this anymore. I want to feel you in me, fill me up the way you used to." She guided his cock to her dripping wet, hot as a furnace opening and he slid in slowly. She was so open to him, so amazingly hot and wet, just like she'd always been. And still so damn tight. He moaned against her neck. There weren't any words in his vocabulary to describe how he felt right now.

Daryl stilled, just feeling her around him-arms and legs wrapped tightly around him and her cunt tight around his cock. "God Lucy," he whispered against her neck. And then she bucked up against him impatiently and he smiled. "We ain't rushing this, Luce. I'm taking my time, gonna make up for the last eight goddam years without you," he whispered into her ear and she shivered.

He began to move then, slowly. Teasing her, teasing himself. He wanted to remember this the rest of his life, the night he and Lucy were finally truly reunited. He kissed and caressed her as he moved, and she stopped moving impatiently and picked up his rhythm. They moved slowly, his thrusts deeper each time, and she met each thrust with as much force as his.

She came first and he continued to keep the same rhythm. He remembered back all those years ago-how they'd learned together how to move and where to touch, she had told him just the sound of his voice or the touch of his hand anywhere was enough to push her over the edge.

As he moved, all those long years without her seemed to drop away and it felt almost like they'd never been separated. The outside world, the room itself faded away and all they heard and felt was each other.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The next morning saw the three of them traveling in Merle's truck toward Atlanta. They'd brought as many supplies with them as they could fit into the truck. They didn't plan on going back to the cabin. Either they would find some type of refugee camp in Atlanta or they would head out west like Daryl wanted. He refused to stay in the state of Georgia any longer than was absolutely necessary. He'd been here too long as it was. He was anxious to get back to the ranch where hopefully things would be safe and they could be away from any of the craziness he'd seen on the tv before everything went dead.

Lucy remained silent, sitting between Merle and Daryl. Daryl was driving. Another difference in the Daryl now and the Daryl from years ago. Merle had always been the driver back then, unless he was high or drunk. Now Daryl had taken the keys from Merle and slid into the driver's seat without a look at Merle. Merle shrugged and Lucy slid in and then he sat shotgun. He was actually feeling a little twitchy at the continued silence from Daryl and Lucy. He'd noticed something different in the way they'd spoken to him last night and the way they had looked at him. He knew something was going on, but he had no clue as to what it was about. He just knew that Lucy wouldn't even look at him now, and the few times he'd said anything to her she had brushed him off.

They'd been driving about an hour on the backroads toward Atlanta when Daryl spotted a few cars travelling toward them. They were on a two lane blacktop, no one else in sight, no stalled vehicles seen as yet. Daryl slowed down and waited for the first car to get closer so he could see what this was about.

"Why the fuck are ya stopping?" Merle hissed.

Daryl just glanced over at Merle silently and turned back to watch the car as it came parallel to him. He could see a man in his thirties driving. Daryl counted five vehicles altogether, one an RV and the rest trucks or SUVs. Daryl saw beside the man driving, there was a woman and a young boy.

"Hey," Daryl said to the driver.

"Hey," the man replied. They stared at each other silently, trying to size each other up.

"We were headed to 'lanta," Daryl said after a few minutes. "Yer comin' from there. Not safe there?"

The driver shook his head wearily. "No, it's been bombed and looted. No quarantine area or safe zone. We were staying at a place just outside town but it got overrun, so we're trying to find someplace safe to make camp."

Daryl looked over at Merle and Lucy and frowned. "Whatta ya mean, overrun?" his voice was clear and direct. A no nonsense voice. The driver of the other vehicle recognized that the man he was speaking to was used to being in charge.

"Overrun by creepers. Walkers. Whatever you want to call them," and he shrugged.

Daryl continued to frown. "Man, we ain't been near no town for weeks. Haven't had any information since the power went out. What the fuck are ya talkin' bout?"

The driver perked up at the thought that this man had been someplace for weeks without walkers. "The dead. The dead come back alive and try to eat the living," he said patiently. At the look of disbelief on Daryl's face, he nodded. "Seriously. Not lying. Half the world was infected by something. Major cities gone, looted and burned. No one in authority anywhere that I know of. Military was in Atlanta at first, but they got overrun or went someplace to hide. If you've been someplace safe the last couple of weeks, you should just go back there. Nothing for you in the city."

Daryl nodded, thinking. "Give me a minute. Name's Daryl Dixon by the way."

The driver nodded. "Rick Grimes. We've got a group of sixteen including myself. If you have someplace safe to go to we'd appreciate it if you'd let us join you. Safety in numbers. We won't be any trouble."

Daryl nodded and held up a hand to signal he wanted a minute. He turned to Merle and Lucy. "I think we should let them follow us back to the lake. They can settle in there. Hell, we ain't plannin' on stayin' there anyway. Might as well make sure these folks are safe and then we can head out to the ranch."

Merle gaped at Daryl. "Fuck brother. We don't know any of them. They could be lying. Why should we let them stay at the lake and risk them taking our stuff?"

Daryl just frowned at Merle. "Doubt they're lying. And I don't wanna go into town and test that theory. I'll take their word for it. If you want to go into town, I'll let ya off here Merle and wish ya good luck."

Merle's mouth dropped open and he fumed. "Drop me off here? What the fuck? I'm your brother!"

Daryl gazed coldly at Merle and Merle felt that anxious, twitchy feeling ramp right up. Daryl was looking at him like he didn't even know him, like he was nothing to him. What the fuck was going on?

"Ya gettin' out?" Daryl asked quietly. Merle flinched at the stone cold hatred in Daryl's voice. Jesus. What had changed his brother this damn much? Merle dropped his gaze and shook his head.

"Nah. They can follow us," he mumbled. He noticed in all this Lucy had not once looked at him, nor said a word for or against him. He didn't like that either.

Daryl turned and looked at the other driver. "Right then. Let me turn around and y'all follow us. We're bout an hour away from here, in the mountains. On a lake." Rick nodded and leaned over to say something to the woman and boy in the truck with him. Daryl turned his truck around and headed back to the cabin, keeping an eye on the truck behind him.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Late afternoon found Rick and his group settled in at the cabins that were grouped closer together. Daryl, Merle and Lucy had met everyone in the group and helped them get settled in. Rick had introduced his deputy, Shane, to Daryl and Merle and they along with the other men of the group-Ed, Glen, Dale, Martinez, and Morales had discussed what had been going on that Daryl and Merle didn't know about. Daryl discovered the loud boomings he and Lucy and Merle had heard had in fact been bombings. Rick and the other men explained to Daryl their trip to the CDC and what they had found out about the virus. That basically everyone had it, and that the only way to kill the undead was put a bullet through their brain or some other object-anything that would smash their brain.

Daryl had told Lucy to stay over with the women and try to get some information from any of them about what they'd seen and how long they'd been together. He knew women always had different ways of looking at situations than men, and that these women might have information the men had overlooked. As well as he didn't want Lucy to hear all the disgusting details until he'd had time to figure it all out. She looked much better than she had when he'd snuck her out of the hospital-not back to her full weight yet and still a bit tender in the abdomen but all in all no one looking at her would guess she'd been at a hospital recently. Her color was back and she was starting to get that lively look about her again. He also thought it'd be good for her to talk to someone other than he and Merle for a change.

As the sun got lower in the sky, Daryl and Rick made plans to hunt the next day and to set up watch schedules. Now that Daryl knew what was out there, he was grateful he had come up to the lake where they had for all intents and purposes been completely isolated from the shitstorm that was going on everywhere else. He noticed that Merle had gravitated toward a blonde in Rick's group and smirked. Good ol' Merle. He could always be counted on for hitting on any female over eighteen and under sixty around. Maybe he and Lucy could have the cabin to themselves tonight and make their own plans without Merle being up their asses.

Daryl motioned to Lucy and she came over to him. "Wanna head to our cabin?" he asked. Lucy could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn't really asking her. He was done here and wanted to go back and settle in and make plans. She nodded and they linked hands and headed over to their cabin just a bit away from the cabins Rick's group was occupying.

"What about Merle?" Lucy asked. She didn't really care what Merle did, she just wanted to know what Daryl was thinking. She'd watched Merle all day, how nervous he was around the both of them and she knew it wouldn't be too long now before they parted ways with Merle. She'd never imagined she'd ever see the day when Daryl Dixon would turn his back on Merle, but eight years had changed Daryl in ways that she was only starting to realize.

Daryl looked down at her, and from the look on his face Lucy could see that he knew exactly why she'd asked him. He smirked and shrugged. "Fuck Merle," he said quietly. Lucy shivered a bit at the coldness in his voice and thought that she sure didn't want to ever cross Daryl Dixon. She'd thought Wade had been cold, she knew now that Wade hadn't begun to touch how cold Daryl could be. And she didn't want to think about why that made her proud of Daryl whereas it had angered and frightened her in Wade.

Merle stood talking to the woman named Andrea and watched his brother and Lucy head back to their cabin. Something had changed, and it wasn't good. And he realized as he watched them walk away that he and his brother were going to be parting ways very soon. Unless he could find some way to fix whatever it was they were angry about. And if it was what he suspected, his keeping them from each other and lying to both of them, then he wasn't going to be able to fix it and his brother would be lost to him forever.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The next day Daryl and Merle along with Rick and Martinez headed into the woods to see what they could find in the way of food-deer, squirrel, rabbit. Anything to supplement the canned goods they had stockpiled. Daryl had told Lucy he wanted her to look for any kind of nuts or berries they could all eat, to take some women with her and stay close to camp.

After Daryl and the other men had headed out, Lucy wandered over to where the other women were getting ready to wash some of their clothing out. Lucy stifled a smirk at the sight of the blonde that Merle had been sweet talking. She and Daryl hadn't heard Merle come back to the cabin until early in the morning, just before dawn. She had always known Merle could be a charmer when he wanted to be, apparently he hadn't lost that talent.

The blonde, Andrea, approached Lucy smiling. "Hi Lucy. My sister Amy and I were going to try to catch some fish in the lake there. Care to join us?" Lucy thought to herself there was a million things she'd rather do than spend any time at all with Andrea. Her sister Amy seemed sweet but whiny. But Andrea just rubbed her the wrong way for some unknown reason. Maybe that was why Andrea seemed to like Merle, they both seemed abrasive.

Lucy shook her head politely. "No thank you, Andrea. I was actually going to look around in the woods a bit for some berries or nuts that we can add to our supplies. Do you think Lori or Carol or anyone else would want to go with me?"

Andrea shrugged. "Maybe Lori. You can ask the others. Guess I'll see you later," and she waved at her sister and they headed off to a dock with some rods they'd found in one of the cabins.

Lucy mentally rolled her eyes and turned toward where Lori was sitting. "Hey Lori. Would you like to go with me to look for some berries? I'm not going too far off." She gazed thoughtfully at Lori. She was an attractive woman, but seemed very unhappy. Lucy doubted it had anything to do with Rick-he seemed like a nice guy. But of course looks could be deceiving as she well knew.

Before Lori could respond, Shane walked up and stood staring openly at Lucy. Lucy had felt an immediate dislike toward Shane. He seemed to be a loud mouthed bully and he seemed to pay an awful lot of attention to Lori. She understood Shane and Rick had grown up together and had worked as cops together, but his attention to Lori seemed a little more than just keeping an eye on his friend's wife. She didn't trust him, and didn't like him looking at her like this.

"You look really familiar," Shane drawled. His eyes ran up and down Lucy's body speculatively. "You ever model?"

Lucy snorted in derision. "No. I doubt you've ever seen me. I doubt we ever traveled in the same circles."

Shane hummed and continued to stare at Lucy. "Hmmm. I know I've seen you somewhere. I'll remember soon, I never forget a face," and he rubbed his hand over his chin in irritation.

Lucy felt a flare of panic at that, then scolded herself for it. She would've remembered meeting Shane if she ever had. And she knew he wouldn't have ever been at any party or gathering she'd ever been to. He sure hadn't arrested her for anything. And if he did say he remembered her, she'd just tell him he was mistaken. Or have Daryl talk to him. She wasn't going to worry about it.

She looked at Lori and raised an eyebrow. Lori nodded and started to stand up, but Shane put a hand on her shoulder possessively and pushed her back down. Lucy saw immediately that Lori didn't like that.

"Lori doesn't need to go traipsing around in the woods. She needs her rest," Shane snapped at Lucy.

Lucy looked at Lori questioningly. "I'm sorry, have you been ill?" she asked, frowning as she took in Lori's healthy appearance. Lori shook her head and refused to meet Lucy's eyes, blushing.

"She's pregnant," Shane snapped again. Okay, Lucy thought, this is getting really weird. What the hell is going on here?

"Oh," Lucy replied, not sure how to respond to any of this.

Lori shook Shane's hand off her and stood up. "Yes, I'm pregnant but that doesn't make me an invalid. I can go with you and look for berries," and she turned and glared at Shane before walking off with Lucy toward the woods. Lucy saw Shane frowning and clenching his fists as they walked off and decided she would tell Daryl to watch out for Shane-he was a loose cannon and she didn't trust him.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

As Lori and Lucy looked in the woods for berries and nuts and anything green they could eat, Lucy asked Lori general questions about what had happened in Atlanta and how she and the others had met each other. As Lori talked, Lucy was overcome with gratitude that she'd snuck away from the hospital with Daryl and Merle and thus avoided having to see any of the things Lori described. Now she had a whole new reason to be glad she'd killed Wade and wound up in the hospital-Daryl had come back to her, and they'd avoided being bombed or eaten by the undead. Maybe she and Daryl's luck was looking up in all kinds of ways now.

Lucy kept the conversation light, not asking any questions that would seem invasive or personal. Because then she would be obligated to answer those questions herself and she didn't feel like saying anything at all to anyone about her recent situation. She would have to talk to Daryl about that too-what was their story to explain who she was and who he was. Other than the truth of course.

As they walked and talked, Lucy found herself feeling comfortable with Lori. She seemed to be a woman who was not happy in her marriage and Lucy could definitely identify with that. She didn't think Rick was the type to beat his wife, but a marriage could be unhappy for a million different reasons. Even if Wade had behaved like the perfect gentleman to her she would never have been happy with him. She didn't love him. And unlike many of the women she'd grown up around, including her mother, she didn't believe money and things could make up for a lack of love in a marriage. So Lucy felt sympathetic to Lori, but she had a feeling the problem was more about Shane than about Rick.

After an hour or so, Lucy walked Lori back to her camp. As they cleared the edge of the woods, Lucy saw Carol and Ed in a heated discussion. Suddenly Ed grabbed Carol's arm roughly and shook her.

"What the fuck," Lucy mumbled.

Lori shook her head. "Ed's an asshole. We've all suspected ever since we met them that Ed is abusive to Carol. He's never hit her when anyone was watching, but we've heard him yelling at her in their tent," and Lori sighed.

Lucy frowned. "Well why hasn't anyone said anything to him? If y'all are relying on each other to stay safe you can't have some asshole beating on his wife in your group," she hissed, watching Ed continue to manhandle Carol.

Lucy jogged over to where Ed was standing and shaking Carol. "Hey, knock that off," she spat out angrily at Ed. He turned in surprise and gaped at Lucy for a minute before pushing Carol away and turning angrily toward Lucy.

"This ain't none of your business," he growled.

Lucy crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Ed. "Might not have been before the shit hit the fan. But it is now. If this group wants to survive and stay safe, then everyone has to look out for one another. And that means nobody gets to beat on anyone else. That includes husbands and wives." Her voice was firm and loud, and she could feel her temper rising.

"Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? Go mind your own business," Ed snarled at Lucy.

Lucy clenched her jaw. "This is my business you jackass. If you don't want anybody to be in your business then don't air your dirty laundry in front of everyone like white trash," Lucy hissed back.

Shane wandered up at that and glared at Ed. "Ed, keep your hands off your wife if you know what's good for you. We need everybody to get along and keep their eyes open and we can't do that if we have to make sure you aren't beating your wife. Go on and take a walk and cool off." Ed opened his mouth to say something, then shut it at the look on Shane's face. Shane was only a slightly taller than Ed, but he was a bit younger and much more in shape than Ed. Ed dropped his eyes and turned and stomped off toward the dock.

Lucy helped Carol to her feet and brushed her off, Carol avoiding Lucy's gaze. "It's my fault," Carol murmured to Lucy and Lucy felt her blood pressure shoot right up at that. No woman should ever feel that it was her fault her husband was an asshole that beat her. She wished suddenly that Daryl had been here to pound Ed's face in.

She huffed out an angry breath and shook her head at Carol. "No, ma'am. It's his fault for not being able to control his temper. Adults don't throw tantrums, children do. Sadly, your husband is a child," she whispered angrily to Carol.

Shane cleared his throat and Lucy looked over at him. He was smirking in a way she didn't like. "I know now where I saw ya," he mumbled.

Lucy felt herself flush with anger. "I doubt it, cuz you ain't seen me anywhere before now," she snapped at him, hoping to throw him off.

Shane nodded thoughtfully. "No, ain't seen ya before in person," he rasped. "But I've seen ya. On the news."

Lucy stood up straighter and glared at him. She'd be damned if after all she'd been through she was going to have another asshole screw with her. "I'm telling you that you're mistaken. And if you're a smart man, you'll shut up about it."

Shane raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh? That a threat? Just because you killed one man doesn't …"

Before he could finish his sentence Lucy had run over and shoved him as hard as she could. "You shut your damn mouth. You don't know what you're talking about and you'd best leave it alone dammit," she yelled.

Shane growled back at her and grabbed her shoulders and began to shake her roughly. "Listen, I'm a cop and I can.."

Lucy laughed bitterly. "You can't do shit to me. You don't have any authority anymore. It's your word against mine, and I doubt anyone will believe you, you fucking asshole," she yelled louder.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

They both started when they heard a shout. Turning, they saw Daryl running toward them with Merle, Rick and Martinez following close behind. Lucy blew out a sigh of relief at the sight of Daryl. Maybe he could get Shane to shut his piehole.

Daryl stomped up to them and glared at Shane, placing a protective arm around Lucy. "What the fuck is going on here?" he snapped.

"I figured out where I've seen your gal there," Shane said arrogantly, puffing his chest out proud of himself for figuring out who Lucy was and anxious to tattle his news to everyone.

"Oh, you've been out west on my ranch?" Daryl asked quietly. His arm tightened around Lucy, but he kept his eyes glued on Shane.

Rick frowned at Shane. "What the hell are you talking about Shane?" By now Lori and the Morales family had gathered around Shane and Lucy.

"That woman killed her husband. It was on the news when everything went south," Shane practically crowed.

Rick looked over at Daryl and Lucy, confused. "What? Her husband's there, right next to her," Rick snapped testily. He'd had his fill of Shane for a variety of reasons, but this was the icing on top of the cake.

"That's right. I'm Lucy's husband. We have a ranch out west. We were here in Georgia to get my brother so he could come back to the ranch with us. I'm obviously alive, so I don't know what the hell you're talking about," Daryl continued in a clipped tone. His jaw was clenching with barely contained fury. Rick saw this and tried to think of a way to defuse the situation.

Just then Ed came striding up, angry. "I don't know about her killing anyone, but she got into my business with my wife and…"

"Shut it Ed," Rick snapped. "We all know you beat your wife and probably your daughter. I should've stopped it right away. If Lucy stopped you from hurting Carol, then I don't have a problem with it. You should be glad she stopped you instead of me," he gritted out.

Daryl glanced down at Lucy in bemusement. Apparently she'd been up to all kinds of shenanigans today. And he hadn't been gone all that long either. He bit back a laugh. Well, this was the Lucy he'd fallen in love with and missed-apparently she was definitely back now. And he wasn't going to complain about it.

Rick looked over at Daryl and Lucy measuringly. "Shane, I have no reason to doubt Daryl or Lucy. I have plenty of reasons to doubt you. So you're going to drop this nonsense now. And I mean I don't want to hear another word about it today, tomorrow or any other damn day," Rick spit out.

Shane opened his mouth but at the look on Daryl's and Merle's faces he shut it again. He wasn't afraid of them, he wasn't afraid of anyone. But he could see for now he was outnumbered. He would just have to wait for the right time and then….what? He couldn't arrest her. He'd think of that later. For now, he'd pretend he was going to be quiet and forget about it. He nodded meekly to Rick and walked off toward the cabin he was staying in.

AN: I'm going to use this as a stopping point for the time being. I'm starting a new job July 6th which entails a pretty intensive training period through Sept 4th. I'm the sort of person that although I enjoy change I also tend to freak out for a short period when starting a new job, moving to a new city, etc. So, while freaking out I don't think I'll be able to give the attention to my stories that I'd like to. Hopefully I feel comfy in my job pretty quickly and can continue my writing soon. Thanks for your patience.


	22. Chapter 22

May 9, 2016

Hello readers! I just wanted to first apologize for having been so tardy in posting new chapters to my stories the last couple of weeks. I do have an explanation though…

Another writer on this site and on Archive Of Our Own-she goes by both Mistyeye and bubblesbromleigh-and I are collaborating on a novel. This is not a fanfiction novel, but is in fact a fiction novel taking place in England during WWII. The inspiration for the novel was Norman Reedus-we are both fans of his beyond TWD and began bouncing ideas off each other as to what type of role would let him really show off his acting chops.

This novel is the result of our brainstorming and collaboration. We have a page on FB-MistyKat Productions, have started a GoFundMe page for startup and research expenses and hope to have our novel published as an ebook by December of this year at the latest.

I hope you can visit our FB page and like and share it with your friends. I'll be posting more regularly hopefully to my works already in progress here on Fanfiction and as always I am grateful for your reviews, suggestions and encouragement and your patience while waiting for updates.

Fingers crossed!


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